Travis:Grandpa Joe is a joiner and he fucking pisses me off every time I watch that movie.
Justin:Oh yeah, he is fully like, he fully does sort of just hop on Charlie's bandwagon, right? There's very little discussion.
Travis:And he starts singing a song about how HE'S got a golden ticket. No you don't.
Griffin:No, you don't. Your illegitimate grandson.
Justin:PS? Super duper triple cool that you've been faking to be a paraplegic for like a decade? And then the wafting of chocolate, like the aroma tickles your nostrils?
Griffin:Was that what were supposed to believe? I thought it was just that their family was so poor...
Travis:--They couldn't afford to walk?
Griffin:That there was just no reason to.
Justin:Where am I going to go, honestly.
Griffin:He was impoverished into immobility.
Travis:Well, here's the other thing too. Charlie gets the golden ticket and he's like "grandpa Joe, go with me." Hey dude? You've got three other grandparents just chilling literally two feet away. And you're like, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you--"
Justin:And how about your mom? Like, it doesn't seem like things are super cool for her, and she's been working really hard to feed you and your 80 grandparents, and also she hasn't been faking being paralyzed, so maybe she could use a break today?
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.